Sunday, March 6, 2016

Diary of a Man-Child 5/3/2016

     His sister was going into the kitchen, doing a little bit of light dish-work before their brother came home from college.  As she was going, he called out to her, "Hey, make me a sandwich!"  Rather than take it as a joke, she became incensed, and attacked.  Her weapon of choice: a pillow.
     He retreated partway up the stairs as the confrontation began.  Perhaps the high ground would prove to be his friend.  "Typical woman!" he crowed, as she pummeled him with a pillow.  "Typical woman; things get tough, and she starts a pillow-fight!"
     Rather than take his continued casual sexism as a joke, she became angrier.  Abandoning him and her pillow, she took up his lightsaber and flicked the handle to extend the blade.  Nothing happened.  She tried again.  Nothing continued to happen.
     "Typical woman!" he crowed.  "Can't even use simple technology!"
     So saying, she reversed the lightsaber, extended the blade, and proceeded to beat him.
     "Mom!" he called in an act of desperation.
     "Get back in the kitchen!" mom ordered.  His sister perforce complied.
     "That's right," he said, "go back to the kitchen!"
     She did not; instead, she returned to the steps and proceeded to beat him silly.

Friday, February 5, 2016

Archived For Posterity...

     And thus begins year four of my annual "State of the Human" address...
     To start with, let's close out business from last year.  Still at J.D. Young, printing away.  Still have the dog.  Still trying to lose weight, though now I'm down into the 280s.  Still shopping EHUD around (heck, still editing it from time to time).  Did finish Dear Sir to a workable state, though I haven't started querying yet.  Compulsively Yours is on hold.
     The biggest news, though, is on the relationship front.  That fellow writer I mentioned last year?  The one who live a hundred miles away?  Her name is Felicity, and as of Valentine's day, we will have been officially dating for three months.  She's awesome.  Anything beyond that is private, so... go away.
     No, don't go away; focus on other stuff.  I started writing Sheol: Place of the Dead, the sequel to EHUD and the book that started it all.  It's still in development.  The big news on the writing front is for a book that isn't even an original concept, and which might benefit from some backstory.  Okay, here goes:
     Last summer, some friends of mine directed their first feature film, a horror movie entitled The Wretched.  I was supposed to help out on it, but work got in the way, and in the end, my only contribution was my microphone.  Still, I'm listed as assistant producer on imdb, so I figured, "Why not earn that credit?"  To that end, I got in touch with the writer/director, and am now writing the official novelization.  Yeah.  Look for it on Amazon this summer.  Definitely not for kids...
     Other than that... not much.  Still trying to get published, still trying to get Tales from the Forgotten wastes produced (anyone remember that?).  But now love is in the air, and I'm looking forward to a happy and healthy 2016.  So long everybody, and see you next year! (unless I post something before then.  Got to actually start publishing stuff on this blog...)