Wednesday, March 3, 2010

An Actual Update

Okay, some actual updates this time... Well, I might have said in the last post (can't remember now...) that I was going through and reading the book because I couldn't remember what was going on... Well, I started to, but to be honest, the beginning was pretty bad. No, it was downright unreadable. So once again, I began rewriting. This time, I really hope that I only need to do the first two chapters (in addition to the other edits I may already have mentioned). The new beginning will be much slower, with John waking from the coma sporadically over a few weeks, being much weaker and thinner (in accordance with his hudness, as per chapter... 20, I think...) and having a different intro to his family and Sky Crest. Also, the intro of the presidents may be moved up...

Other than that...

Let's see... Today I gave a speech on action-figure customization in speech class... lots of fun there...

Oh, yeah, the video at the top! Well, I've recently gotten into 3D animation using Blender, and that is Bob, my own original creation! I built him up from a single cube, rigged him, and then animated him. What fun! I was originally going to make several short videos of the walk from different angles and then run them all together, but unfortunately didn't save my work, so all of his posing is lost... But I'm moving on, and will soon be embarking on a hugely complex tutorial that will teach me all the basics, and several of the advanceds... wow, made up a word there... of modeling, rigging and animation. With a little bit of luck, I'll soon be ready for an animated E.H.U.D. trailer. What fun! And of course, I still need to work on the book... haven't added anything in almost a week...

Oh, and as for the book, specifically the rather strange ending of the last chapter... Yeah, you're going to have to wait a while to find out how that ends. Sorry...

Anyhoo, signing off... Bye!


  1. Some interesting ideas and it has potential. I think you need to work on the mechanics of writing. I don’t mean spelling and grammar, but things like cliché, info dumps, point of view and excessive use of adverbs and exclamation marks. Basically tighten up your writing and so cut the word count by about 50%.

    If you do not like the dream sequences, why include them – find some way to tell the tale without them. If you think them OK, then stop apologising for them.

    I think you also need to ‘murder your darlings’: the first 3 chapters are better than chapter 4 (so is 5 for that matter). And chapter 6 is better than chapter 7. Generally it is better when you are writing about John.

    I have put some comments on chapter 4 - 6

    Regards ACK

  2. Hey hey! A commentor, proof that someone reads the site! I'm validated!

    So, thank you very, very much for writting! WOOT!

    Okay, as to your comment: yeah, the info dumps are a bit painful at times. I personally enjoy expository dialouge, not sure why, just do. But yes, this takes it to extremes.

    As for the 'darlings'... yes, upon a read through, I totally agree with you. Unfortunately, they or something like them have to be there, as they set up the plots and characters featured in the sequels. See, I'm not really writing a book... I'm writing six books. And although John is important to this book, he isn't in the later ones. But Edgar and Mistlethwakey are, so I have to introduce them somehow. (Any ideas for alternates would be greatly appreciated)...

    As for the comments on chapters 4-6, they are ammended to your own comments there.

    Again, thank you for taking the time to read these chapters, and thank you especially for giving feedback: that's why I started this blog! Your comments are greatly appreciated, and will be taken into consideration in draft four.

    Have a good week, and God bless!